Strike Three

I'm writing to you now with my new daughter on my lap. My little Tartlette came a month early, weighing 6 pounds, 11 ounces and with a head full of soft brown hair. She couldn't wait to get a start on life -- even if I could have used another week or two. :o)

I've been trying to remember it all, the things you are supposed to do with a new baby at home. It's been 10 years since I've had the honor, and while some of it comes almost automatically the rest is a bit hazy. Ok, I have no idea what I'm doing, but I'm willing to learn it all over again. After all, I didn't screw up the first one too badly -- nothing a few years of good therapy and a short visit to Oprah couldn't fix.

It's been a long road, one I never thought I'd see the end of. And that isn't to say the last few months have been easy. I've been tested in ways I never thought I would be. But, in the end we made it, all of us. I wouldn't mind a few prayers this way - any Deity will do, I'm not picky.

My love to you and yours. I'll update again, as soon as I am able to put her down, which I haven't been able to do much just yet.

I had the most lovely surprise in my in-box today. Several thoughtful and generous friends sent me some virtual gifts. I can't tell you how touched I was by that. And how very surprised.

Know that I think of you all often. Nearly daily, truth be told. I still write stories in my head; I just can't seem to get them down on paper – how sad is that. One day, soon, I'll give you all a more detailed update, one that better chronicles my ups and down of the last year. It’s been…interesting.

Happy holidays to all.

With love,

TTT

I had wanted to write a small rant called “Why Facebook Sucks and Why I Miss Livejournal” but I felt that stating “Facebook Sucks” was really enough. :o)

Suffice it to say that I am more myself here, without the worry of judgment or an interrogation, than I can be in a place where everyone I ever waved to junior high school is looking me up.

Also – I rewrote the last book I read in my head….then I added Severus Snape to it. Thought you ought to know.

*dusts off live journal*
**has coughing fit**

Wow, that’s a lot of dust. :o)


Howdy neighbors. Long time no see.

I was checking my email and I had a rather lovely review from someone about one of my fics. They still trickle in every now and then and I get a jolt of nostalgia each time. Oh, how I miss you all. I’m strongly considering revisiting one of my half finished fics just because I want to get it done. I jumped on LJ and was please too see that people were still reading, still writing, still reccing, still having fun. It warmed my cockles…I didn’t even know I had cockles.

Let’s catch up shall we……

I am currently writing from my new home. Senior Tart and I just bought a new house. Our first house to be exact. It’s drafty, and in need of a lot of work, but we love it. I feel like I could grow old here.

I’m still not thrilled with my job, but I still have one which is a lot more than I can say for some these days. And they love me; I just got a raise and a bonus actually. But it isn’t enough for the crap I deal with on a daily basis. This is probably why I had such cold cockles.

Sister is still getting a divorce. He’s turned out to be a bigger ass than I ever could have thought. It saddens me. I won’t talk about this any more. As you can imagine it’s been something that my family has been dealing with for some time and I’d rather hold on to my current happy mood just a little longer.

Sister in law is having twins. There’s more to say about this but I’m not ready to just yet. More on this later. Come to think of it there’s been a lot of drama in my life these past six month. Most of it hasn’t been fun. This goes to further explain my absence.

So enough about me. Really I see that look in your eye and I can’t be responsible for your falling asleep on your desk. Drool can really wreck your keyboard.

Give me a rundown of what you’ve been up to or anything going on around here. What is everyone doing? What is everyone reading? Where is all the angst? The wank? What the latest and greatest?

I’m begging for news here.

With love,

TTT

So, here's the thing.

My LJ life was fun. I could say what I wanted without being judged. Okay, I was judged but I was okay with it because I - Lydia - wasn't judged, TTT was, and TTT is pretty cool about these sort of things.

Lydia, however, isn't. Lydia is a bit more thin skinned than TTT. A bit more careful. Lydia doesn't slash...in public.

Lydia isn't on LJ. Lydia is on Facebook and when Lydia doesn't get friended back she gets bitter. She gets bitchy. And she doesn't forget.

Yes, I am petty.

I also have to behave because these people know me. Work with me. They are related to me. And they know my mother.

And there is an appalling lack of smut in Facebook. What's the point, really?

However.....

I was just contacted by someone I hadn't spoken to in nearly 20 years.

And that is kinda cool.

Yes, I’m still alive. I didn’t want this place to become my dumping ground so I told myself I would not update until I had something good to report. As you can see it’s been a while.

Yesterday, however, Mr. Tart and I watched the last Harry Potter movie and I remembered that the next movie is coming out in November. I also realized that I knew nothing about the movie. Usually at this point I’ve seen a slew of pictures, have read half a dozen interviews, and have seen at least three of the main stars naked. I’m so behind. Any news would be greatly appreciated.

So a quick update –

The good – I’m buying a house!!!! Or really trying to. It needs a new septic system. And boiler. And the electric needs to be updated. And the roof needs to be reshingled. And the kitchen needs to be updated. And every room needs new paint and light fixtures. And there’s radon in the basement. And some termite damage, don’t forget the termite damage. But other than that it’s perfect!!!!! I know it sounds awful but we got a good price on the house and are able to make most of the updates before we move in. It has a great backyard and it’s in a great school system so I’m thrilled. I’ll let you knew when we close on it. Until I get the keys I’m not sure it will actually happen.

The bad – I’ve had my third miscarriage in a year and a half. I’m taking the summer off from thinking about it. In the fall the hubby and I are getting a work up to make sure there isn’t a bigger problem. Then we have to decide whether we try again. I’ll tell you the truth, this last time broke me a little, but the idea of not trying again bothers me more than failing again. We’ll see. I’ll keep you posted on that as well.

The ugly – My sister is going through an bitter divorce. I’m actually pretty thrilled she’s getting a divorce. I hate her husband- a bigger waste of space doesn’t exist on this world or the next – but I hate what it’s doing to her and my nieces. He’s irrational, erratic, selfish, and unstable. And those are his better qualities. I’d like to give specifics but I can’t until the whole thing is settled. Fingers crossed that it’s soon.

Mr. Tart is great (most of the time), the Tartlet is fabulous (for at least part of the day), and the job is getting better (very, very, very, slowly). We go on as best we can. I’m actually feeling pretty happy today. We got a good report on the state of the attic and tomorrow I’m signing mortgage papers. Here’s to new beginnings and crippling debt!

Miss you much,

TTT

Reasons why I suck –

1- I totally missed the birthday of one of my favorite people in the world. abigail89 I’m so sorry. You had a special comm – WHICH I JOINED WEEKS AGO – and couldn’t get my shit together in enough time to wish you a happy birthday.

So…..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

Sorry I suck so much.

2 – I was nominated for a bestmatesaward but was away from my email for so long I didn’t accept the nomination in time. Thanks so much to whoever took the time to nominate my fic. It really means the world to me. I’m sorry I suck and didn’t follow through.


3 – I have a friend I introduced to Harry Potter. She read all seven books in a matter of weeks and got just as obsessed with it as I was. She’s really having a hard time moving past it and reading anything else. Frankly, she is a perfect candidate for fandom. I think she’d love it and would truly find that little bit more she is looking for, here. I can’t bring myself to introduce her to fandom because I am not comfortable about sharing this part of my life with outsiders. The few times I tried to share it …let’s just say it didn’t go over well. I feel for her because I know what she is going through, and I know fandom could help, but I’m terrified to share it with her. I feel like I’m betraying her and I hate that. I suck again.


4 – I’m petty. No really I am. I have always been one who’s cheered for people when they’ve succeed or when good things have happened to them. Lately though it's been a lot harder to do. I started to list out my pettiness in detail but I’m really embarrassed at how bad I’ve become. Everything is bothering me lately. That’s not me. That’s not who I am. But I’m afraid it’s who I’m becoming.

5 – I want to write so freaking bad, but I can’t. I’ve been working so many hours that I can barely stay awake when I come home.

That just sucks.



What doesn’t suck –

You guys are great. I’ve just skimmed a tiny bit of my flist (I’ve been MIA for a long while and have missed everything) and I love that you are still reading and writing and creating. You give me hope.

Stay strong!!!

Love you ,

TTT

I was going share the details of my week - I mentally quit my job six times so it was quite an eventful one - but I refuse to spend one more minute thinking about the wretched place. Instead I turn to my lovely source for all things Harry Potter.

My book club is going to have a Harry Potter Special and I'm wondering if you could help me with the following. Please answer any and all that interests you -

1 - What inconsistencies have you found over the course of seven books?

2- Are there any questions JK left unanswered that really irked you?

3 - Were you satisfied with the ending?

4- Which book did you like most? The least? Any particular reason?

5 - Favorite/Least Favorite character from book one? By book seven did that change?

6- Which character death bothered you the most?

Thanks much ......

My boss is this optimistic, bubbly, extremely energetic, Grateful Dead loving hippy who hasn't worn the same outfit twice since I've started working here.

Most days I just want to kick her.

Well Howdy.

Let me say that I am thrilled (and a bit surprised) that I haven’t been defriended by all of you. Thanks for having faith.

Life proceeds.

I’ve turned into one of those work-a-holics. Not by choice, mind you. Normally I’m horror-struck by those types, but the whole “making money to buy things with” thing is actually more important to me than I would care to admit. Sadly, I spend so much time at work -- actually working -- that I don’t have time for anything else. I get home at night and can do little more than kiss my son good night and vegetate on my couch to whatever is on the Food Network.

Luckily for me I found a small group of Harry Potter fanatics so that I don’t feel completely out of the loop. And while their enthusiasm pale sin comparison to yours, it’s enough to keep me sane. Then, on those rare occasions that I can skim my flist, I find home. I hadn’t realized how much this place meant to me until I was forced to take extended (and unwanted) vacations.

Not being here doesn’t mean that I haven’t been thinking of you. It doesn’t mean that I don’t have half finished fics that I think about or new fic ideas running through my brain - hello, Potion's Master to revive!!! I even have a fic that I sent to a beta to look over. Part of me wants to post it just to get back in the swing of things but I know that it isn’t ready (by ‘isn’t ready‘ I mean it sucks donkeys). It’s het, rare-paired, and painfully PG. If I’m going to put a fic out that no one will be interested in, the least I could do is make it readable for those few brave soul who might give it a once over.

Speaking of fandom can someone direct me to a recent Ron/Draco that I might read before I go to bed.

Pretty please. :o)

There’s also all this other crap going on that I tell myself I’m going to share with you but never do. I don’t want to be the friend who only shows up when she need to bitch about something. That’s no fun. I will there’s one person who is getting a long overdue divorce, another getting divorced that never wanted it , and a third that really needs to get divorced but won’t. None of those people are me - Mr. Tart and I are still tight and the Tartlet is still the light of my life – but all these people are important to me so I’m affected.

I’ll stop here because I can’t seem to form another coherent thought.

I will now open the floor to questions.

Love me, hate me,
Kiss me, kill me.
Torture me slowly,
With feathers of doves.

Call me, ignore me.
Curse me, adore me.
Set me on fire,
But do it with love.

I can't tell you why this has been running through my head for days. Shows you the sorry state of my head. I also just steam cleaned my carpet....at 9 PM. I've obviously lost it. :o)

I have just had my longest hiatus from fandom since I was first ensnared in its ho-so lovely tentacles all those years ago. I"ve not been online for a couple of weeks. I have no idea what's going on except there's some sort of age-content filter that I don't quite understand. It seems like a good idea, I think, but I'm sure it will somehow bite us all in the ass sooner or later.

I hope you are all doing well.

BTW - does anyone else get spam mail from Greatest Journal. What the hell is up with that? I get so excited to get email only to find someone is very concerned about the size of my penis. Does every man on this plane have penis problems that so much mail must be sent out to stop it.

Enough of that - How goes it, y'all?

I haven’t been feeling like myself lately. Did you ever feel that? Like you were a stranger in your own skin. It’s an odd feeling, like you’re floating above yourself watching someone else’s life from a distance. And it’s not a very interesting life. Frankly, if it were a television show it would have been cancelled before the pilot aired….and all copies burned in some sort of ceremonial sacrifice.

If I had to feel like someone else why couldn’t I feel like Angelina Jolie? I might be feeling odd but at least then I’d be smoking hot. Actually, then I’d be married to Brad Pitt, and really he does nothing for me. I’d also have half a dozen kids and while they’re cute being saddled with my own little league team doesn’t allow me to really take advantage of my hotness, so what’s the point.

Okay, forget Angelina. How about Selma Hayek? She’s hot and engaged to a bazillionaire. Only one kid. That I can handle. Also, a bazillion dollars buys many nannies. Maybe I could buy one for Angelina; seems like she could use one.

So….where was I?

Oh yeah, I don’t feel like myself lately. I feel out of sorts. Work has been tough and I feel like that’s all I can think about, like my brain can’t handle my job and an actual life. Two people in my department want to quit. When you have a department of four that doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. One of the disgruntled workers is my manager - this is also not a good sign. Not that I blame either of them, I’d like to quit too. The part that sucks is that I like the work - it’s interesting - I just think I’d like it better at a company that didn’t work me to the ground and expect me to be chipper about it. There’s nothing about me that says ‘chipper’ or ‘perky’ or any variation there of. I don’t even care enough to be apathetic.

Why couldn’t I feel like someone who likes her job? :o)

Family is still good and that counts for something. Counts for a lot actually. And it will be Christmas soon which means I can put up my tree and my ornament collection. For those of you that don’t know I’m obsessed with Christmas ornaments. (Obsessed as in my Harry Potter was mildly amusing in comparison.) I have a couple of hundred and have even started a collection for my son so that he will have one (or four) for each year of his life. If I could, I’d have my tree up now but my husband insists on waiting until after Thanksgiving (the heartless bastard).

So, in short, I’m not me and I’m not Angelina Jolie. I like Christmas and my husband is a heartless bastard but only until after Thanksgiving.

ETA: Heartless Bastard husband wants it duly noted that he just made me a cup of my favorite tea while I sat mocking here him to you all. So who ever this is who I am currently, is a bitch. :o)

Good night all.

As has been the case time and again over these last few years, every time life drops me down a sewer Fandom is there with a ladder, a flashlight, and a piece of chocolate cake. Whether it's with words of encouragement or support or something else completely unexpected.

In this particular case the lovely and talented xiaogui has drawn fan art inspired by my story The Tao of Diogenes.

You can find it here in LJ and here in Deviant Art.

I'm so in love with this picture - everything from Severus's knees to his expression to the haughty little Diogenes perched in is hand is simply darling.

Please go and leave much praise, not only for the lovely piece of art but for the gesture that salvaged my month.

I got in a car accident this week.

I do the obligatory “I’m fine” song and dance for anyone that asks but I’m pretty freaked out about the whole thing. I close my eyes and I see myself hit the car in front of me over and over again. I hear the crunch of metal and the screech of tires. I’ve driven since but I was shaking the whole way.

The adjuster thinks my car might be totaled. The mechanic thinks it can be saved. Either way it’s costing me. The little financial gain we’ve made since my husband’s new job will be depleted. I can’t say I’m surprised - I’ve led a very one step forward two steps back sort of life - I am disappointed, however. Mostly in myself. I gave my husband permission to take the kid and run before he is sucked in the vortex of my misfortune any further.

That’s right – I have my very own vortex of misfortune. Envy me.

I haven’t told my mother yet. She worries about me enough, I tell her this happened she’ll be lighting candles and buying every saint statue in a six mile radius.

I haven’t told my son either. I didn’t even want him to see the car. There’s really no need -- unless it is totaled then I’ll keep it around for his teenage years. That ought to make driver’s Ed fun.

The funny part is the mechanic wanted to give me an Explorer for a rental. I turn to my husband, “I crashed a Focus and he wants me to drive an Explorer.” Needless to say I’m not driving an Explorer.

Oh, and to top it off I have three cavities.

Welcome to my life.

*sigh*

So, I’m fine….mostly.

I have a very varied friendslist. From, “No one is gay in the books, you freak. Can’t you read?” to “Everyone is gay in the books, you freak. Can’t you read?” Most of us fall somewhere in between. I think it’s unrealistic to think that no one is gay in an entire universe of books. Thinking everyone is gay is unrealistic too. It’s fun mind you, but unrealistic. Boys can like girls too. No really, it’s been known to happen.

I really didn’t need to be told Dumbledore was gay. I knew it (I mean look at how he dressed - crushed velvet indeed). To me the Dumbledore/Grindelwald connect was pretty clear. Ridiculously clear, actually. That being said, it is pretty cool to have official canon slash. I thank her for that. It tells me that I’m not nuts (about this anyway). That there were definite clues to things not said peppered throughout these books.

It also allows for more “what else isn’t she telling us” speculation, which is why I fell in love with fandom in the first place. The “what ifs” are what make it fun for me. I never really had interest in rehashing canon (though I did dabble in canon pairings once or twice, I’ll pair up whomever I damn well please, so there.)

Something like this statement, however, revitalizes fandom. The flame wars will rage for some time. For the sake of fandom I hope she continues to blow things up and allow the rubble to fall all around. And I hope we continue to pick up the pieces and do with them what we may.

That being said….there’s some part of me that wishes she’s shut the hell up. That’s right. I’d said it. As far as I’m concerned book canon is the only canon. If she couldn’t manage to get it in several thousand pages - in seven books - then let it go. If you want to give us a glimpse of a post book seven world then write another book.

I can hear you saying - If you weren’t in fandom you might not feel this way. You might want the closure. But I don’t think so. I think I would have liked to think that Neville married Luna and that they spent a lifetime confounding each other. Or maybe Luna and Dean ran off together. Or maybe Harry and Ron started a Quidditch team and much hilarity (and slash) ensued. Or maybe Hermione became the Muggle Prime minister. Or maybe….or maybe …or maybe. The great part of having read a book (for me) is thinking beyond the end and taking the characters to other places. So really, she can stop.

But that’s just me. I’m probably in the minority. In the meantime, let the DumbleWald ficfests commence.

Oh, and JKR is so very obviously a trio-shipper. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. :o)

I had a day off today.

No.

Let me re-phrase. I had taken today off.

Various doctors / dentists appointments for me and the Tartlet all afternoon. I figured, hey, take the whole day off. Catch up on the flist, reads some fics, write something.

I'd been looking forward to it for three weeks - a few hours of alone time. A little me and you time.

Then comes this morning, or actually last night, or actually this week, or maybe this month. I work eleven hour days and still didn't get done what I needed to get done. So I worked this morning. It was either that or screw over clients and co-workers and that I couldn't do.

Do you know what that says about me?

It says I need a new job.

*sigh*

My husband is screaming at the television.

Football is not good for his blood pressure.

Hey there my lovelies. How goes it?

I continue to be MIA but, as always you are in my heart. Case in point -

I was teasing my husband - a favorite pass time of mine - when the remote control fell off the back of my sofa and hit me on the head.

Mr. Tart - Ha, and god smites you. You have been smited. Smited? Smote? Smoted?

TTT - Smut?

Mr. Tart - Smut? You've been smut?

TTT - Yeah that will be much funnier when I retell this to my flist later.


**********

A friend gave me the audio versions of the HP books - British Versions. Happiness is a friend who's just as obsessive as you are.

**********

Speaking of my dear Harry, I stumbled upon a pair of refrigerator magnets for Slytherin and Gryffindor. Anyone know where I might find Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw? I've been on the hunt for HP paraphernalia in various bookstores for many months now. I can't tell you what I'm looking for, just the sort of odds and ends only someone like me - an probably you - can appreciate. Anyone else find themselves doing that? If so, where do you browse? I tried Ebay but since I'm not looking for anything in particular (except the magnets which I already tried looking for BTW) - browsing on Ebay can be taxing.

**********

I have a very odd request - Does anyone eat Indian food regularly? Can you give me pointers? What are some different dishes? How should things be eaten? When should I ask for chutney? What is chutney? What are some of your favorite dishes? Some friends want me to take them to a local Indian restaurant and are expecting me to take the lead in ordering and I have no clue. As always, I count on you to save me.

Hola darlings.

How goes it?

I haven't forgotten you. Life is .....well life.

Things are going well so I really can't complain. Senior Tart is enjoying his new job. Mine is killing me but I like it. Been working long days. Sadly, when I come home I can barely think straight let alone enjoy my previous rockin' fandom lifestyle. I've retreated to lurking but I still love you ... and even manage to read and write in dribs and drabs.

Life after Harry Book 7 is odd. I'm watching TV again and I've gone back to rapid book consumption. Real books and not just fics. It's just palin weird and I'm not sure I like it.

I've missed you guys.

Hey, take a minute and tell me one thing that's happened to you over the past few months. What ever you feel like saying.

I'm listening.

For the hell of it: Me -----> Live Journal, Insane Journall, Greatest Journal, JournalFen


To help me unwind from work at the end of the day I usually play random chapters from the Harry Potter audio books that I have on my iPod. Today, even that wasn't enough. Today I played random songs that ranged from The Black Eyed Peas to Rage Against the Machine and I sang each, screaming from the top of my lungs. If you were driving next to me, and happened to look over, you may have thought I was having some sort of violent seizure.

It was glorious. I highly recommend it.

I survived my week long "vacation" at my mother's house.

Barely.

In this case, the word vacation means "annual obligatory extended visit to appease my bitter family because I had the audacity to move away from home" (you have to understand that my brothers, and sister, and their families all live close to home so I'm the rebel that left the nest). I love my family in small doses, too much exposure can lead to permanent damage and I'm damaged enough, thank you kindly.

*sigh*

There is also no computer for me to while away the hours so I have no idea what's going on in fandom. Let me know if anything interesting happened in fandom or in your lives.

Much Love,

T3

Me -----> Live Journal, Insane Journall, Greatest Journal, JournalFen

I'm gonna start all my entries like this for a while until so that people can find me where ever they end up.

I think I'm keeping LJ as my main journal but cross-posting to all four in case anyone wants to delete duplicate journals. I'm a bit sad at having my flist spread all over cyberspace but as long as we can find each other somewhere I think it's all good. It seems like most people are working their way towards Insane journal so I'm probably going to concentrate there as well, with Greatest journal and Journal Fen as back ups.

When I post a new fic I will post it to my fic journal and post announcements everywhere else. I will most probably only take comments on one journal so they aren't spread everywhere. I'm just trying to keep my things organized -- it's my inner Percy taking control. {hugs Percy}

In other news....

I just celebrated my 11th wedding anniversary. I officially feel old. Mr. Tart just got a new job that will start in a week...just in time for my vacation from work. O______o

It's all right though. I'm pretty thrilled about the new job and so is he. The past couple of years have been a bit tough but we've made it through and for the first time in a while things are looking up. *fingers crossed* *and toes* *and eyes*

And.... I'm writing again!!!!!!! It's slow going but that's nothing new, I was never a fast writer. I have three, maybe four fics I'm working on right now in various stages of completion. Feels like old times. :o)

I don't think I'm going to write for fests as me and deadlines are not compatible at the moment, but I am writing.

I will slash Snape again. Oh yes, I will.

Let there be fandom.

And the fandom gods looked up on it and it was good.

Greatest Journal

Journal Fen all fixed now.....

Insane Journal

All linked.

I don't even want to tell you how long this took me to do.

Pathetic.

Can we get on with fandom now?

Watson, come here. I need you.


Soooo.....did it work?

Pathetically blank while I figure this thing out.